Do you ever wonder why the spellbinding selfie has infiltrated today's generation taking the world by storm? Why our previous favorite past time that involved barbies and Gameboy have now been replaced by the infamous iPhone? In today's day and age, going to events and spending time with your family "does not count" if you did not take a selfie to document it, and post the photo as proof for the world to see. Over the years, social media has grown into a platform that people use to create this flawless and fanciful version of themselves, whereas in reality they're just people like you and I. If as adults and parents you see these minuscule problems occurring in your everyday lives, imagine how heavily a child would take a comment on social media they see to heart. Many kids in today's day and age are losing their sense of empathy, communication and self validation while simultaneously gaining a sense of false reality and narcissism. Through studies linked throughout, various scientists and have been able to prove how social media has affected our generations self-validation, irrationality, natural response and reflexes, and evidently our thought process. This article explains the negative effects of social media and how it may be impacting you or your child’s life severely, in detail.
How is social media altering your child's self perception?
• According to Nature, various scientists have been able to prove how social media has affected our generations self-validation, irrationality, natural response, reflexes, and obviously our thought process. Social media can create “online bullying and can have a more intense effect than playground taunts”, which is alarming. There was a survey conducted in which 4,531 pre-teens ages 11 to 14 uncovered that 9.7 percent of the children were involved in cyberbullying. Although Social Media has a beautiful unifying appearance that seems you could connect with your peers virtually, it makes you question the number of friends you have in reality. This could lead to depression and self-doubt. Nowadays, kids are wondering why they do not have as many followers as their friends? Why the do not receive as many likes? Today’s society has allowed for kids self-validation to be dependent on a number behind a screen. Due to the fact that I was a millennial growing up in the "guinea pig generation" in terms of exposure to social media, my first-hand experience has proven the research found in studies previously mentioned above. As a naive child who wanted to fit in, I did everything I could to appear like a “cool kid” craving followers and likes. When Instagram was created in 2010, I immediately became obsessed and immersed myself in this "Instagram culture". In the photo provided below, it is clear to my NEED for validation through social media. Take a look at how I chose to include the question; "100 followers?" written in my bio, practically begging for people to follow me in order to prove my self-worth.
• BUT WAIT, THERE'S MORE! Over the years my hunger for followers and likes only expanded. Within a few years later, my bio read “300 followers?” Now, if that was how my generation of pre-teens and kids reacted towards apps and social media platforms that had JUST recently been introduced to our society, imagine how kids today in 2018 might feel.
• It is absolutely mind-boggling how social media can take a direct toll on how you view yourself. Parents, be mindful of your child's emotions. Ask them how they feel and if they're doing okay (mentally, emotionally, physically, etc.) It is important to establish trust so that your child can be honest with you, this will make it easier for you as a parent to can combat negative self-perception and instill a healthy and positive self-esteem in your child. We cannot continue allowing kid's emotions toward their inner and outer beauty to be determined through a stranger online.
How is social media influencing your child's actions?
• Obviously, as a child you are growing. Your environment and surroundings can really mold who you are. If children are exposed to people engaging in activities like drinking and smoking at such a young age, they will begin to gain the mentality that this behavior is okay. According to the Journal of Adolescent Health, “Exposure to risky online content had a direct impact on adolescents’ risk behaviors… friends’ online behaviors should be considered a viable source of peer influence.”
• This should be a RED-FLAG to all parents of social media users. Why should kids who were (in some cases) not exposed to precarious behavior, have to be unveiled to the idea of acting out this way? Simple answer, they shouldn't. Because of the long-lasting effect, social media has had, kids are gaining the idea that smoking and drinking is okay due to negative online peer influence. Another example that goes hand in hand with smoking is vaping. Vaping is the new fad in today society that has grown rapidly into this huge JUUL phenomenon, special thanks to all the hype and promotion brought about through social media (by both customers and company's). Teens have made it a point to illegally purchase these JUUL vapes and take videos of themselves vaping to gain attention and be a crowd-pleaser. Social media is raising a generation of crowd-pleasers who are following as opposed to leading. However, this is not the case in ALL instances. Not every child is the same, and people will have various different reactions towards social media, but what we DO know is that it is definitely persuading several kids to fall under peer-influence because it is what they are being shown.
How is social media deterring children from their morals?
Children in today’s day and age are falling into a new culture of “hyper-individualism” due to the self-absorbed competition that taking selfies and social media entails. Kennedy uses Borba’s 9 very powerful ideas to prevent children from becoming a part of the “Me-Me-Me Era”: “
1. Develop Emotional Literacy
2. Make a Family Mission Statement,
3. Stay ‘other’ focused
4. Read good books
5. Just Breathe
6. Practice Kindness
7. Teach conflict resolution
8. Stick your neck out
9. Grow a difference maker
These ideas allow for parents to ‘practice what they preach’ and help get their children out of the egocentric rut that selfie-taking and texting have created. They also allow parents to be equipped with a guide to help their children grow from egocentric to empathizing. Due to the growing use of social media, filters, and various apps, there has been a significant decrease in empathetic behavior of kids. According to a study by Pew Research, parents actually expressed their feelings towards how they would like their child’s time to be divided throughout the day. In the chart, it is clear to see the outside activities and engagement with family and friends margin is considerably higher than the portion labeled media and electronics, at a mere 12%. If the majority of our child population actually followed the chart of parent's dreams pictured above, our entire world would be different today. Society has morphed so that it is almost impossible to run and properly function without social media, which is why it is imperative that you implement these ideas to prevent your child from the chain reaction that social media has the power to cause.
- What can YOU do to avoid your child from becoming a part of the "Me-Me-Me Era"?
If you take a look at restaurants and family dinner tables, it is very likely to see everyone's eyes fixated on the screen as opposed to talking to each other and communicating. Children and teenagers are falling into a new culture of “hyper-individualism” due to the self-absorbed competition that taking selfies and social media entails. Social media has single-handedly made kids lose their empathy level towards others drastically, due to it's egoistic setup. So, how/what can parents do to avoid your child from falling under the negative repercussions social media has to offer? What seems to be a vexing question, actually has a very clear and understandable answer: LESS. SCREEN. TIME.
• Author Hank Pellesier illustrates this idea beautifully by writing “Every child is different, so it is difficult to draw hard-and-fast rules, but I think wise parents go for less tech use rather than more”
• According to Common Sense Media, teens spend an average of nine hours a day online, between texting, using social media, etc. A whopping 9 hours out of every day they will never get back. Cutting down screen time allows for parents to increase their child's time engaging with family and friends, in real life. Allowing them to start conversations and express themselves through verbal communication as opposed to a virtual chat.
Hope you enjoyed this little article as to why Social Media can affect your child's growth and development. Sharing through personal experience is good, but researching issues and FIXING them is GREAT!